Holding space is the conscious act of being present to your client away from your own self and stories. It is where we are in the exact moment with our clients away from all the noise of life. Seeing our clients in their true nature of love from our own true nature of love. Where we come together away from the noise and stories of life to truly see one another and allow the other person to be seen.
To really listen we have to move away from the ego to the soul so that the story we are listening to doesn’t become us or trigger us.– Meggan Watterson
5 Elements to Holding Space
Is where you become the observer of the space, your client and yourself. It is almost like being a ‘fly on the wall’, where you witness the situation with no desire or need to change the conversation or direct the conversation in anyway.
Compassion is where we recognize and witness the pain of another and take action to move beyond the pain. Yet here the action is not in words or a physical action. This action is an energetic holding of the person and the pain through an energetic embrace of love where nothing has gone wrong. We here are unafraid for our client and what they are experiencing. Often this witness is all that is needed as we acknowledge the pain and allow it to release into the light.
Non-judgement is crucial when we are holding space. Often when we are sharing with another, we will allow it to activate our own beliefs, values and stories within us. This is human nature as we relate to another through our own experience. Holding space is the opposite to this natural behaviour, as we allow the sharing to move through us and not become us or because of us.
4. Present Moment of NOW
To hold space for another we need to remain in the present moment of now. When we allow ourselves to move either into the future or into the past, we break the power that moment of now gifts us. In this moment of now, we always have a choice. It is in the choices that we make right now that we can choose to either see our client with love or with fear. Where we can choose to transcend our stories with love or allow our stories to become us and dictate us with fear.
Self-reflection is the most important part of holding space for our clients. As we hold space our inner ideas, thoughts and emotions will rise up. Often, we feel, see or hear ourselves in our clients. This is a normal and an expected part of holding space. It is important to understand this, be aware of when it is happening and also spend time in reflection of why this is occurring.